Jay Stringer

Okay, so there’s a world cup happening, apparently. I don’t really know, I stopped watching after the refereeing decisions started to become an international embarrassment to the sport that I love.

But there’s been an issue that’s been burning away at me so, look out folks, here we go.

(again)

The main thing that’s sticking in my paw is the U.S. and football. But not really in the way you might think.

First up; Leave America alone.

All the way through the tournament, people have been obsessed with whether the World Cup is pulling in fans over in the states. Year in year out, too, people talk about this. About getting America to ‘get’ it.

I have to wonder, who the fuck cares?

Pretty much the whole world plays the sport, and most of that world is in love with the game. There are places like England, Scotland, Brazil and Italy where it’s the number one sport, and there are places like Wales, Australia, France and South Africa where it’s a little further down the pecking order but still finds a lot of love.

The world Cup, the Champions League, the EPL, the FA Cup; these competitions have a worldwide audience probably bigger than any other single event on the planet (with the exception of the newly announced Pee Wee Herman movie.) The world loves the sport, so why are people so obsessed with what is pretty much an exception, America?

What difference does it make to us? In fact, is it not in our interests that the country doesn’t ‘get’ it? Look at what a few of the businessmen from over there have done to the game, in the buy out of Liverpool and Manchester United? Two proud clubs who are saddled with unsustainable debts. Also, these businessmen, if they were to prove the tip of an invasion, could signal an end to so many of the things that make the sport special, such as promotion, relegation and local clubs. That’s not knee-jerk generalisation of all Americans, I’m not that dumb, but it is a very real fear of what would happen if businessmen who don’t quite ‘get’ it came over and started tinkering with their billions.

Lets face it, America has its own sports. It quite likes them. It has Baseball (which I like) and Sorta-Rugby (which I don’t pretend to like) and it has Hockey (though I gather the Canadians are better at it). Hell, it’s got Basketball too. I know this because I once watched WHITE MEN CAN’T JUMP. And they seem quite happy loving those sports. They don’t seem to feel the need to export them to the world, or invite others to play. They’re happy enough as is.

So why the need to convert them?

Next up; Soccer.

Oh it’s an easy joke. Jump on the fact that Americans call it Soccer. Hohoho isn’t that funny, aren’t they dumb.

Uh, no. WE invented the term. It was a way to differentiate association rules football from rugby rules football. It was a class thing, not a country thing. Its just that over there, they classify their sports a different way. They call their game ‘football’ even though only one guy can kick. They call something the ‘world series’ even though only one country plays it. Again, leave them alone.

And here we go; They don’t get it.

Okay, many of them do. Many of the friends of this blog, and my my friends in the writer community, not only ‘get’ football, but they route for teams and go the whole nine yards. So I know there are many millions of people over there who get it just fine. But to generalise from a few of the complaints ive heard about the sport, there are many millions of them who don’t. The basic gyst of all the complaints seems to be, why is that sport not more like this sport?

‘ties.’ They complain about drawn games. We might want our films and novels to be full of gray areas, we might live in a world full of hard earned stalemates and dramatic collapses, but it seems a few million people want their sport to be black and white. They want a winner and a loser. Which is fine, they have sports that provide those at the end of every game.

Me, I love gray areas. I love to see not just a result, but the story that led to that result. I want to see a team come back from 3-0 down to score a last minute equaliser. I want to two teams going at it with equal conviction, neither deserving to lose an epic slugging match of attacking football. I want to see two teams sizing each other up, playing a game of chess and trying not to be the first one to make a mistake.

I want to see one team hanging on for dear life against a much bigger and better team. I want drama, and story, and human fallibility. Back in my wasted youth of watching pro-wrestling, two of the best matches I ever saw were hour-long bouts that ended in draws. The story was the key.

Sure, some draws can be dull. The whole first week of the World Cup was a massive let down. But if you remove that option, then you remove possibility. You effectively make your game more predictable if you narrow the possible outcomes to two.

‘Nothing much happens.’ That’s another complaint I hear. They say only one or two things happen in a game. Well, that’s just because you’re not looking, chief. Sure, if you’re programmed that only a goal is ‘action.’ But that’s ignoring 90+ minutes of passing, and moving, and tackling, and fouling. Off the ball incidents, red cards, goalmouth scrambles. The little drams that crop up all over the pitch with a defender attacking a striker, or a midfield contest, or the right back who tries too many tricks. Football isn’t a sport where ‘nothing much happens’ it’s a 90-minute constant happening.

‘Too much cheating.’ This seems a biggie. People like to point out the amount of diving in the game as if its something we haven’t noticed, something we’re happy with. It’s a well know bone of contention amongst football fans all over the world that football has more cheats now than ever before. We’re not happy with it. But then, I don’t see how any sport or sports fan can take a moral high ground here. I mean, its not as any Baseball player has ever doped himself up or fiddled with his bat, right? Not like some people cheat at Rugby by wearing a helmet and padding. Every sport in the world, just like every other aspect of life, has its room for cheating and people who exploit it.

‘Not physical enough.’ I’ve heard it complained that tackling in football is nothing like tackling in ‘American Football.’ Well…uh…yeah. That’s because it’s a different sport. It’s about different things. It’s not a physical sport. A few generations of Brits grew up thinking it was, because our players were more limited than other on the ball, but it’s not. It grew out of a new game, a passing game. Something that was about attacking the ball, not the man, and passing the ball rather than blood. It’s about skill, style and tactics, not about showing how much like a giant ape you are. And I’m not really attacking more physical sports. The stop and start, the set pieces and the physical work; That’s what works for them. Cool. But don’t moan at football for not being about that.

In short, why do so many people want to make a splash about this one way or another. There are many different sports on the planet, and they are each separate, each have their own character. Play and watch the ones you like, don’t feel the need to trash talk the ones you done (especially for not being the ones that you like) and stop moaning about whether another country gets it or not.

I have a team, and they kick off in about 6 weeks, and that’s all I’m caring about.